Tomorrow: One Heck of a Thing to Keep Up With
Written by Pat Neistat
|Hopefully that damn speedway gets an upgrade too|
At the 2017 D23 Expo, there was a major announcement in regards to Magic Kingdom. The Tron Lightcycle Power Run will be going into Tomorrowland. Specifically, on a piece of undeveloped land near Space Mountain. This is the badass attraction that has wowed the shit out of guests at Shanghai Disney. Disney describes this ride as “… offering access into the energy, lights, and excitement of TRON’s high-tech universe and is one of the most thrilling adventures at any Disney Park.” It’s pretty awesome- you’ll be sitting on a two wheeled lightcycle while it takes you inside the main frame of a computer, which is the world of Tron. Hopefully, Tron is the beginning of the reimagining of Tomorrowland.
Lately this land has unfortunately become ‘left behind’ land. It’s my least favorite land in Magic Kingdom, but has the potential to be the best. Some of the attractions just suck ass. Stitch’s Great Escape is just brutal, so brutal that they have to shut that shit down half of the time because no one rides it anymore. Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor and Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin are the kind of shit you find at a filthy, dirty Six Flags. And I think the Astro Orbiter is a carnival attraction they found in the trash. Don’t get me started on the Tomorrowland Speedway. The owner of ‘The Dis,’ Pete Werner, said during a recent podcast, “The Tomorrowland Speedway has single handedly caused global warming.” I don’t think it could have been said more elegantly, as there is nothing ‘tomorrow’ about a bunch of tiny gas guzzling cars driving around in a circle. Between Cosmic Ray’s and ‘I’m never open’ Tomorrowland Terrace (despite their new mobile ordering?), Tomorrowland’s dining also needs a damn facelift. Let not your heart be troubled, because this land does have a few strengths. Iconic rides like The People Mover, Space Mountain, and Walt Disney’s Carousel of Progress are classics that have withstood the test of time. Tron works perfectly for this new area because it takes place in the world of computer software. It screams the future and represents Disney acknowledging “We gotta get our shit together.” I’m excited for what the new Tron attraction will bring to the future of Tomorrowland. There will be a great big beautiful tomorrow, shining at the end of every day.
|It’s gonna be badass|
*Editor’s Note: In Disney’s defense they’ve re-branded Tomorrowland as “retro-future” basically what we used to think the future was going to be back in the 60s and 70s. Tron is basically retro future 1980s so I guess it still fits the motif, but nonetheless, we’re happy to see some new shit come to Tomorrowland now if they just tell Stitch to make his great escape for good, I think we can all agree the universe becomes a better place.