Hotels, Reviews

The 5 Best Disney Deluxe Resorts

So you’ve finally decided on that trip to Disney World and you’ll be damned if you aren’t gonna stay in one of their best hotels. So, what in the hell does Not_Club33 think about it? Well, we’ve got an opinion on pretty much everything so here goes.

Editor’s note: Keep in mind that you can’t really pick a bad Deluxe at WDW. This lists the ones we feel have separated themselves from the pack in terms of value for money.

5. Boardwalk

Look at that shit!! How can you not want to stroll along the water’s edge.

Photo Credit: Disney

What We Like: Proximity to Epcot and Hollywood Studios (boat ride to either or, 11 minute walk to Epcot). Nice dining options like Flying Fish.  Mr. Eisner got it right, the ambiance of that damn boardwalk, it’s fantastic.

4. Beach Club

Yep, that’s a lazy river at your hotel pool and there’s friggin sand at the bottom of it

Photo Credit: Disney

What We Like: You know it’s Stormalong Bay all day everyday bitches! After you convince your kids (and yourself for that matter) that it’s time to leave the pool you can take a short walk to Epcot and enter via the International Gateway. While the Food and Beverage scene isn’t as great as some others the short stroll to World Showcase at Epcot makes it a moot point. Plus, they are home to Crew’s Cup and underrated  and moderately priced restaurant that you should seek out.

3. Animal Kingdom Lodge

These fuckers are reading newspapers and there’s giraffes right next to their balcony. Assholes

Photo Credit: Disney

What We Like: Where to begin? Well, as you can agree waking up to animals roaming the Savannah outside your balcony doesn’t suck. There’s two of the best table service restaurants on Disney property in Jiko and Sanaa, plus their buffet, Boma, is amazing.  Inarguably this place contains the best theming of any resort the mouse owns. They imagineered the hell out of this place and no detail was missed. Joe Rohde (google him kids) and his team blew it out of the water. Keep reading about Animal Kingdom Lodge.

2. Contemporary

Your’re damn right that’s a monorail rolling thru this shit, take heed!
Photo Credit: Disney

What We Like: It’s hard not to love any resort that has it’s own monorail station, no less one where the monorail actually drives thru the fucking lobby!!!  Besides that obvious answer this A-frame has a lot going for it. How’s a 10 minute walk to the Magic Kingdom sound? Good?  Well it gets better now that Disney has added a security checkpoint to the end of that walk-way essentially giving walkers from the Contemporary a private check-point, Hell YES!! Back to the monorail, the first stop once you board from the Contemporary is the Transportation and Ticket Center, giving you quick access to Epcot. So, LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION! But there’s more to love, keep reading about Disney’s Contemporary Resort.

1. Polynesian

Photo Credit: GoogleMaps

What We Like: This place is the shit! The Poly is a heavy hitter when it comes to theming. The lush vegetation, palm trees, and relaxing ukulele instrumentals flowing from the speakers lining the winding walkways take you away to the South Pacific. Once you arrive at the Great Ceremonial House (it’s the fucking lobby but hey roll with it) you know you’re on vacation!  It’s got something for everyone, satisfying the foodies with staples like Ohana and Kona, to your water crazed kiddos not wanting to leave the Lava Pool (even the little kids area here is great), to the booze hound staying up late at Trader Sam’s (where you can see the Magic Kingdom Fireworks from the patio). Plus, you just can’t beat the location. Keep Reading about Disney’s Polynesian Resort

2 thoughts on “The 5 Best Disney Deluxe Resorts

  1. We’ve gone back and forth before on the poly. I’m not going to dispute it. I can’t help but love Beach Club the most because of the pool and proximity to Epcot.

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