Cynical Musings: I’m Getting Old

Welcome back to Cynical Disney!

I’ve managed to BLEEP up sleeping…

I mentioned this yesterday in my newest update, but if you didn’t read it, I have officially been diagnosed with “severe” sleep apnea. On top of my unconscious suffocation of myself, recently I’ve found myself waking up with back pain, which to me means that I’ve managed to BLEEP up sleeping. This back pain gets exacerbated when I sneeze, and it just so happens to be round two of allergy season in Atlanta. I’m already on like five different prescriptions, I don’t feel like adding Benadryl to the mix is living my best life.

I’m now REALLY annoyed with people unaware of their surroundings…

Amanda and I went to go see First Man on Thursday (more on the movie itself in a moment), and our date night was interfered with more than a DB trying cover Julio Jones in man coverage. When I bought the tickets, I specifically reserved seating that was next to unoccupied chairs. It was a date night after all, and even though I had no intention of having a teenage make-out session, I still like to feel a little isolated if it’s possible. Someone had bought their ticket after us, and selected the seat next to us, but the seat next to him remained unoccupied. This, to me, should fall under the same social contractual language as the urinal: “take the unoccupied one if it’s all that’s available, but be respectful and leave space if at all possible”. So he awkwardly sat next to Amanda the whole movie, never once considering moving to the unoccupied chair. We got back to our car, and guess who parked too close to the line for me or any person not on a vegan diet to get into? We also had to deal with random people walking in to the theater laughing during a movie with lots of death in it, and other people randomly stopping in a parking garage preventing the flow of traffic. Get your BLEEP together people.

First Man was disappointing…

As patriotic as I am, I wasn’t going to boycott a movie about the greatest achievement in the history of mankind and America because they didn’t put a specific scene in about planting the American flag on the moon. What I was disappointed by was the directors choice to favor a dark image rather than technical accuracy, the decision to basically not even name Michael Collins (the often unsung third member of the crew), the overall depressive tone of the film, making Buzz Aldrin out to be the biggest of assholes, and finally, turning one of America’s greatest heroes into basically Sheldon Cooper. The only thing I was impressed by from an accuracy standpoint was that characters had to use a can opener to drink a beer. Other than that, I really don’t see the need to put Ryan Gossling on a screen to brood for two and a half hours.

I’m so glad not much planning is going into our next trip…

As previously announced, the Cynics are going to Disney World next year for Labor Day. The trip will be a short one, but because we’re basically going down to Orlando for two things (Football and Food & Wine), I don’t really have much to plan. Sure, I’ll end up getting a couple of Fast Passes when the time comes, but I don’t actually have to make dining reservations because we’ll be off property for one day and the next day will be spent engorging ourselves with different food and booze options. Aside from my rooting interest in my team performing well, I don’t really have much in terms of stress to worry about. Maybe this is the secret sauce for me to actually enjoy myself: short trips that don’t require me to worry about what I want to eat 180 days from now.

I hate politics…

This isn’t a new revelation, but it is something I find myself hating more and more. The whole supreme/kangaroo court situation that has taken up a good bit of my Facebook and Twitter news feed. Throw in that the congressional district I live in was hotly contested a mere 12 months ago, and that the Georgia governors race is between a candidate who waived a shotgun at a child as part of a campaign ad and a candidate I cannot find one philosophical commonality with aside from “don’t be a racist asshole”, and I’m being driven insane. It’s literally the Douche & Turd episode of South Park for me. I’ll continue to vote Libertarian until someone with a grasp of common sense comes along.

I may just hate Facebook and people in general…

So if I was to simply ignore and/or block all political posts or people who post nothing but politics, apparently what I’d be left with are gender reveal videos, recipe videos, and videos of cakes being made into ridiculous shapes that no sane person aside from an actual baker would try to make or have time to try. Is that really what’s left for people of my generation? Gender reveals?

Hurricanes suck…

I know, it’s as obvious a statement I’ve ever made. My brother had to suffer through Hurricane Michael this week, and though I’ve received confirmation that he and his cute ass German Sheppard are ok, I haven’t actually spoken to him yet. His house was fairly intact, so I know it could’ve been much worse, but I still feel bad for him and his neighbors having to deal with the amount of devastation. He will rebuild, as will the rest of the area. If you’re the praying kind, keep him and those affected in your prayers.

Until next week!

-The Disney Cynic

“I’m all beers!”

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