Toy Story Land – The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Toy Story Land is the newest addition to Hollywood Studios at Walt Disney World. It’s theme is ‘Andy’s backyard.’ As a result, it’s made to feel like you’re the size of a toy. Since it’s Andy’s backyard they have a giant wooden fence surrounding the son-of-a-bitch, and bamboo in place of grass. In a similar fashion, they use old school tinker toys and multi colored Playskool wooden blocks throughout the damn land. In other words, it’s supposed to give you the feel that Andy has designed the entire land. Toy Story Land features three total rides. Slinky Dog Dash and Alien Swirling Saucers are new and they have incorporated the pre-existing ride Toy Story Mania. It’s been six months since the Land has opened. Therefore, we’ll give you the good, the bad, and the ugly of Toy Story Land.

The Good

Everyone who has been to Hollywood Studios  knows that Toy Story Mania is a fantastic ride. In similar fashion to Magic Kingdom’s Seven Dwarfs Mine Train, Slinky Dog Dash kicks ass. The queue tells the story that Andy built this bitch from a roller-coaster set and used Slinky Dog as the coaster car. This is a must-do ride. Perhaps the most frowned upon addition leading up to the opening was Alien Swirling Saucers, otherwise known to the Dis community as ‘ASS.’ You wonder what Imagineer is laughing about that shit. Notwithstanding all the negativity around this attraction, it’s actually a fun ride. Granted it’s a little jerky but nevertheless, fun.

The Bad

As a result of Toy Story Land being a huge success the damn crowds are huge. I rate the three attractions as good to fantastic, so the wait times are ridiculous. I’m not kidding- it’s literally nuts to butts. Hopefully the opening of Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge will ease the pain in this area. Since the Imagineers did such a sick job at theming there are no places to shade you from the damn spring, summer, and fall sun. I would argue that my backyard has umbrellas and shit to keep the sun from melting my skin. Fortunately, we visited in December, so we didn’t run into this issue. Hopefully they come up with a themed solution for this damn problem.

Editors Note: Woody’s Lunchbox has some great options but due to the high demand and lack of seating, it may be smarter to eat somewhere else on a busy day. However, if you do decide to eat here, use mobile ordering. We did mobile order and the adult lemonades are pretty damn good. 

The Ugly

The ugly is solely Disney’s fault. This may not be something everyone catches but I am a professional painter. For that reason, I’m trained to notice certain things that not everyone else pays any attention. The construction of this land was clearly rushed. For example, the land has a shit ton of peeling and chipped paint. It is true that Disney does do shit like this as a part of detail. At first, I thought it was from how many people this Land was absorbing, but I didn’t see this problem in Pandora. Specifically I started to see peeling paint on areas that were not touched by guests. For example, Slinky Dog Dash and Alien Swirling Saucers had peeling and chipped paint all through the queues, on the displays BEHIND the railing. Unfortunately, this was a common theme throughout the entire Land. There is only one reason for this bullshit- rushed prep work. Without a doubt this is the main reason for all the peeling and chipped paint. In fact, this will be a continuing problem for the next couple years, even as they refresh some of the paint. It’s really a damn shame!

Overall, Toy Story Land will continue to be popular because the Imagineers did a kick ass job at creating a fun environment that you’ll be able to go back to countless times. Even though Galaxy’s Edge will be drawing a shit ton of people, I still think Toy Story Land will continue to see large crowds. Unfortunately, this is what happens when you build cool shit for people to enjoy with their families

Leave a Reply