The Disney Cynic

An Iconic Mountain gets the Cynical treatment!

Today, I’ll be giving you a little history on the topic of the day, making observations and pointing out the utter stupidity along the way. I’ll also let you experience the topic through my eyes. I dare you to defy my descriptions. They’re not only shockingly accurate, but you’ll never be able to look at …

What Disney Can Learn from The Masters | The Cost of Reverence

Walt Disney World may have a Masters problem it doesn’t even realize, and we’re not talking about golf.

Cynical Listicles: Dark Rides

Today I promise not to mail it in and make stuff more interesting than “is a hot dog a sandwich?”. My parents just got back from Orlando, and their attraction sensibilities are vastly different than mine. Where as I would rather skip half the attractions at the parks in favor of riding only a handful, …

WDW Attractions as Movies

Hello, and welcome to the new home of The Disney Cynic!!! First, I need you to take your shoes off. I just put in new carpet. I know, I know, six months from now I’m not going to really give a shit, but for right now I don’t want to invest in a carpet cleaner. …

Cynical Musings: I’m Getting Old

Welcome back to Cynical Disney! I’ve managed to BLEEP up sleeping… I mentioned this yesterday in my newest update, but if you didn’t read it, I have officially been diagnosed with “severe” sleep apnea. On top of my unconscious suffocation of myself, recently I’ve found myself waking up with back pain, which to me means that I’ve …

Cynical Musings: Oscars, Grouches, Playgrounds and Libertarians

Welcome back to Cynical Disney! Too much crazy shit has been going on for me to not express my thoughts on them. No, I’m not talking about the New Green Deal or Jussie Smollett (though I will point out he learned how to fake it while filming The Mighty Ducks), I’m referring to all of …

Cynical Musings: Shut It Down!!!!

Welcome back to Cynical Disney! The United States Government continues to be shut down… Starting off with the light content of the day, the government shut down continues to affect at least 12 people on my Facebook feed. While I’m sad for people who have jobs that aren’t getting paid, I’m actually loving that it …

Cynical Musings: Price Hikes Inspired By Nature

Disney World Increases Ticket Prices I’m about as shocked that Disney is increasing ticket prices as I am that water makes things wet. Also, don’t ever say anything to the effect of “water is wet”. If that was the case, then raining on the ocean would make the ocean wet, which is obviously not the …